Our lives are filled with firsts; love, home run, jobs, ticket, heartbreak, etc. They come and go leaving memories in their wake. We share them with friends and family and sometimes we keep them hidden. Our first speeding ticket can often find itself buried deep in our pocket or purse. Constantly checking to make sure it is still there and not leaping out to show anyone else, we peek often at it hoping for a miracle. Our first F or bad report card receives the same treatment as our first speeding ticket. Somehow our first love or first home run receives a very different response. Screaming from the roof top, dancing in the street, sharing those moments with everyone we meet friend or stranger is not overlooked.
Why does one receive the spotlight while the other event is sent to the dungeon? Who decides which event gets celebrated? Why is one considered shameful?
Not to condone actions that may cause harm to another – first DUI, robbery, hurtful purpose action etc. but let’s look at the first F or bad report card and the first speeding ticket. Are they really shameful events? Are they really occasions to be hidden and despised? A speeding ticket of 5 miles over down a busy street not endangering another isn’t necessarily something to be ashamed of or used to create guilt. It is only an action that indicates a need to pause and review for a better solution. The first F can indicate a need to receive extra help. It can also indicate a reluctance to focus because of a personality conflict, distractions or other need.
Life will always be full of firsts even at 95. It is designed that way. Rather than create guilt from your first find a reason to celebrate. The first speeding ticket is a celebration of stepping over the line and learning the reason while there are some rules of protecting compliance. It is also a first of understanding how to fit within a group and protect it. A first F helps us to understand humility, compassion and courage to ask for help.
What First have you allowed to create guilt? Can you find a reason to celebrate?